When was the last time you were brutally honest with someone? Actually, when was the last time you weren’t afraid to be totally honest with someone? To tell them that you think what they might be doing, in your eyes is not right. Or how about that they need to let go of the past? Or make amends? Or how about telling them that they need to maybe start exercising? Or that you have feelings for them? Or that you think they’re amazing? Or that they need to get help about a certain psychological matter? Or how about that they just really irritate you sometimes?
Sometimes we sugar coat the truth in order to not hurt the other person. I get that. Some people can handle truth and honesty better than others. But is it not society itself that has made the population weak in its power to be able to handle honesty? I believe it is. ‘’You can’t tell him that, it’ll hurt him.’’ ‘’I can’t tell her I have feelings for her. What if she shuts me down!’’ So many scenarios where people avoid honesty because they are governed by fear; fear of hurting themselves and others; fear of rejection; fear of simply, fear; fear of true expression. Take that last statement and let it ponder for a while… ‘’Fear of true expression.’’
Let’s sidetrack from the main topic of discussion here, lets just take a moment to remind ourselves of what fear is. Fear is the lowest point on the Emotional Guidance Scale. It is the root of all negative emotions. Jealousy: the fear of losing something or being replaced. Worry: the fear of almost everything that you could lose, not achieve, nor gain. Disappointment: the fear of displeasing or not succeeding. Impatience: the fear of not getting what you want, the fear of ‘what ifs’ and the fear of non-accomplishment. I could carry on with all the negative emotions but you understand where I’m going. Fear of true expression thus means suppression of your true self.
Honesty allows us to be more human. No one is perfect. I know I’m not. But I’m so upfront with people; and I adore it, simply adore it, when people are the same towards me. The brutal honesty that comes from my Mum absolutely makes me die (in a good way! Is there a good way to dying?! Ok you get what I’m saying)! I love it! ‘’Maro, those shoes look disgusting!’’ ‘’Maro, you need to lose 3 kilos.’’ ‘’Maro, you need to get your act together!’’ ‘’Maro, that lipstick doesn’t suit you.’’ I never take criticism badly. I actually like it, because I like to know how others perceive me. But, that’s not to say that I allow it to affect me or change me, if I don’t truly believe in my heart, that I need to change.
Brutal honesty. It’s SO damn beautiful to me. And what I’m trying to put in words here is that, if you think about it, truly and fully, what is more beautiful than a soul’s, truest alignment to oneself and to their feeling? It’s liberating. It’s exhilarating. Yes, of course, honesty sometimes hurts. But once you deliver it or receive it, there is nothing more you can do. How the other person takes on that truth is up to them. You are being honest to yourself. When someone opens up to you, and lays their feelings ‘on the table’ with regards to anything, isn’t that stunning? The vulnerability is so beautiful to me.
So, how about being totally honest for a whole day? Obviously in the society that we live in, it takes a strong person to not conform to ‘’societal norms’’ … but try it. I dare you.